Relax… it’s a joke. A very sarcastic, vintage-style joke.

This “Don’t Make Me Poison You” kitchen tea towel is pure retro humor, inspired by classic pin-up kitchen art and exaggerated housewife sarcasm. Featuring a playful illustrated character, bold lettering, and mid-century charm, it adds personality and attitude to your kitchen—without taking itself too seriously.

This design is meant to be lighthearted and humorous only, making it a conversation piece that gets laughs (not side-eyes). Functional, decorative, and gift-worthy, it’s perfect for kitchens that appreciate bold humor with a vintage twist.

Perfect for:

• Fans of retro & pin-up style décor
• Sarcastic humor lovers
• Novelty & conversation-starter gifts
• Housewarming or gag gifts
• Kitchens with personality (and boundaries)

Because sometimes humor is the best seasoning.